Hopping Fences and Bowling Pins

Update time.

So I was in Baltimore last Wednesday through yesterday morning. My boyfriend and I drove there and back. We got back last night, and I opened this morning. I really thought I would be more tired than I was. For some reason, I was wide awake my entire work shift. I thought about all the things I would do today (meaning cleaning the apartment and my room). Only my room ended up being completed, but that took a few hours, so I’m good with that.

I brought a lot of stuff back from Baltimore (aka why it took hours for my room). I organized, threw out a lot of stuff, and moved a lot of things around. I think it looks pretty good now. I brought some of my dad’s things home, like a few of his bowling pins, his Marine hat, his spoon collection, some decorative stuff, etc., which I put on display. My dad’s spoon collection is actually pretty awesome. He has a lot of really unique ones in there, including a spoon with Kennedy on it, and several ones from different countries. It’s nice to have some reminders of him here.

I had a lot of fun in Baltimore. I got to see a lot of my best friend/her fiance, which was amazing. I love being with them…they’re incredible people. They’ve stood by some of the worst parts of my life, and many of the best. I can’t wait for their wedding. It’s actually in a little over a month. I went to her bridal shower while I was there, and I’m heading back in a few weeks for the bachelorette party. Hopefully that time I can fly and not have to drive 12 hours.

I’m sort of in a funk, and I’m not entirely sure why. I had therapy today and just kind of went blank. I’m happy with things in general, but I also feel stuck. I don’t completely know why. I’m progressing with school, but everything else seems to be weighing me down. Well, even school can do that to me. Now that my three spring semester classes are over, I’m back to working 35+ hours a week. I need the hours, badly, but it is incredibly draining. I also have two summer classes coming up, plus training to be an online crisis text line counselor. That training is up to 5 hours a week, I believe. I want to make time for it, but it’s so hard to come home from work and keep going. It’s nice to come home from work and do nothing for a bit. Or watch Netflix. I miss watching Netflix. How sad.

I got my cat a bow tie collar, and it’s super cute. It’s pink with green fish.

My apartment complex also stepped up today and started really helping us with our rat problem. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that before on here, but it’s been terrible, to the point of my roommate buckling down and writing a very lengthy email to the leasing office. It had dates, pictures, times, etc., backing us up. It was a great email, and apparently it worked. It would be nice to not have rats in our apartment (dead or alive, really). They brought in some poison traps, which they placed throughout our apartment and on the outside of the building. They also said they’d be coming by every day to check on them, as well as talking to the contractor about repairing the holes where they’re getting in. Fingers crossed that this all works.

I wanted to bring home some of my journals from Baltimore, but there wasn’t enough room. I have a million journals from over the years (since I’ve always journaled, but it was amplified by having way too much time in treatment). Some of the entries I skimmed over were memories I don’t recall, which is frustrating and weird for me. For example, apparently I ran and hopped over the fence at a residential treatment center I was at several years ago. I only came back when they threatened to call 911. I don’t recall any of this. Eventually I will get them all down to Georgia with me, but I really needed the room in my car for more important things.

I’ve also decided that my favorite thing to eat right now is an egg/avocado with olive oil on toast. If you haven’t tried it, do it, because it’s awesome.

Okay, I need to go to bed soon. Signing off.

-May 16, 2017

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One thought on “Hopping Fences and Bowling Pins

  1. I know that for myself when life is chaotic and busy then suddenly ‘stops’ even if it is for a moment, I’m stuck in a holding pattern. I wonder sometimes if it because I’ve been operating from a source of adrenaline and when that is used up – nothing. I do get frustrated though when I’m doing what I perceive to be nothing in therapy. I feel I am wasting my money or something but my therapist has explained, more then once, that it is the normal flow of life. How would I know? I’ve yet to have a normal life, lol. I rather look forward to one that is calm and not always full of activity. In fact, at this stage of my life I need to rest and am having a hard time stopping that constant activity. I suspect that is why it is so hard for people who retire to adjust. When I had to stop working (due to a disability) I joke that it took me ten years to learn to “not” work.

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