Pondering on Life

Question to Ponder: If you were told you had a terminal illness and had six months to live. What three things would be most important for you to do?

Number one- I would let all of my loved ones know that, wherever I end up, I’ll still love them no matter what. I don’t want them to think I’d be disappointed in them, or angry, or not recognize them as they change through life. If you’re important enough to me that I’m saying this to you, then I love you no matter what.

^^I say this because when my dad passed away, I promised him several things. Many of them didn’t turn out as planned. I broke those promises, and felt guilty for so long. I thought my dad would be so disappointed in me for all of my “failures”. I’ve spent a long time hating myself for not being the amazing person he saw in me.

Number two- I would visit Chincoteague, VA. Maybe even move there. It is my favorite place in the entire world. I would love to feel the peace there.

Number three- I would hand-write notes for my loved ones. Something they could keep forever. Though it’s so rare, I love finding things my dad wrote. His handwriting is comforting to me. It makes me feel connected to him.

Maybe these aren’t typical responses, but that’s what I think I would do. I don’t care about stuffing my face with every amazing food, or jumping out of a plane, or standing on a cliff. I just want to do things that will not only matter to me, but matter to my loved ones.

I think I feel differently than most about this question because of my dad. I’ve learned too young what matters in this realm, and what doesn’t (to me).

-November 3, 2016

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